Empowering Your Toddler Through Decision-Making in Their Diet

Consider this scenario. As a father, you're busying in the kitchen preparing a snack for your son, Dylan. Pulling the refrigerator door open, you start compiling a list of options. “How about a peanut butter sandwich?” With a shake of his head, Dylan declines. “Yogurt?” Another shake.

Feeling exasperated, you attempt yet another suggestion. “Carrot sticks, maybe?” The suggestion is met with another negative response, but this time with tears to accompany it. Frustration bubbles within you as you plead, “Tell me what you want to eat, and I’ll prepare it for you.” Dylan hears the exasperation in your tone, bursts into louder sobs and marches out of the dining room. You're left standing in the kitchen, wondering how a peaceful afternoon quickly spiraled into an emotional rollercoaster.

The Adult's Perspective

You think, "Hasn't it been a long day already? All I want is to feed this kid, and it's becoming an uphill task!"

"What just happened? He usually doesn't have a problem picking from these choices."

"I don't understand why it's so difficult for him to pick just one option."

On the other hand, if we sneak a peek into Dylan's mind, what might we find?

The Child's Perspective

“Peanut butter, yogurt, carrot sticks… they all sound yummy, but I’m not sure what to pick.”

"Mommy looks upset, and I don't know what to do to make her feel better. I can't decide."

"I can’t remember what peanut butter or yogurt actually taste like...I feel overwhelmed."

Possible Solutions

It's possible Dylan's parent inadvertently overwhelmed him by presenting too many snack options. Children's capacity to hold multiple ideas at once is quite limited. They function more efficiently when making decisions within their memory's short-term bandwidth. Perhaps, offering two choices would've been a more feasible strategy. This would present Dylan with fewer options to juggle and an easier decision to make - carrot sticks or yogurt?

Asking a child to actively participate in choosing their snack goes beyond merely getting them fed. While it might seem easier to simply serve any food or to dress them up ourselves, there's immense value in cultivating their decision-making skills.

Inviting a child's participation in simple day-to-day decisions nurtures their sense of empowerment. Interestingly, they may even find chosen food more enjoyable, simply because they picked it!

By encouraging them to make decisions that benefit them directly (like selecting a yummy snack), we foster the development of their cognitive skills. They begin to understand that being proactive can yield positive outcomes.

In the short-term, this approach might require more patience and take a bit more time, as they develop the skill. However, once they master it, they're likely to save you time in the long-run, and importantly, they will internalize a sense of capability that can't be taken away.

This strategy of empowering through decision-making isn't exclusive for snack times. You can apply it throughout the day.

• For instance, when it's time to leave the house, give them the option of climbing into the stroller or holding your hand. This way, the debate about leaving is off the table. They just have to decide how – they’re leaving the house regardless!

• If they resist a task such as going to bed, shift the focus by asking instead, “Do you want to walk to your room or do you want me to carry you there?”

• When it comes to getting dressed for the cold, ask “Do you want to put on your gloves first or the hat?" They're still going to wear both, but they get to decide the sequence.
  

For older children (3 and up), you can add an explanation to build understanding, like, "It’s important we stay warm and healthy during the winter, so we need to put on our gloves and hats. Which do you prefer to put on first?”

By inviting our children to actively participate in these simple decisions, we not only make our own lives marginally easier but also contribute significantly to their cognitive growth and a sense of being in control.